Sink Until You Swim, by Michael Knapp

Sink Until You Swim

by Michael Knapp

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thequail After the past 2 years we’ve all had this is the exact album I needed. Now excuse me as I lean into my insomnia with this on repeat as I wait for the sun to rise….

Matt I was a fan of Yearbook back in my early years and I've followed Michael's art throughout the years but this feels right having him back making music. What a stellar album to start the final month of the year with! Favorite track: Silent Standoff.

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1.	Imposter 02:07	lyrics	buy track
Doesn’t matter what you say I know I’m not good enough They’re better than me anyway I know I’m not good enough They will find me out expose my doubt I know I’m not good enough But I keep going anyway Even though I’m not good enough Why do I do the things I love Although I’m not good enough Failures weigh more than success Because I’m not good enough But I can’t stop and I can’t help it Even though I’m not good enough This gravity is pulling me Even when I’m not good enough Climb like you can fly Don’t look down Cause you can drown the doubt While you work it out In time, just clear your mind And you will find You’re so much more than your Insecurities And every time I think I’m free (You know you’re not good enough) When I believe what I don’t see (You’ll never be good enough) If I don’t stop then I won’t rot (I may never be good enough) The journey is the joy I seek And that can be good enough Climb like you can fly Don’t look down Cause you can drown the doubt While you work it out In time, just clear your mind And you will find You’re so much more than your Insecurities
2.	Devastated 04:28	lyrics	buy track
See what’s left See what’s left Littered across the landscape Everything we built Broken wills Scattered across the landscape If I close, close my eyes I can see all the parts Exactly where they used to be But all I hear is silence If I close, close my eyes I can hear broken hearts Beating back the disbelief Where there once was a symphony Look at what Look at what your Legacy has left in its wake Everything That we built Broken across the landscape If I close, close my eyes I can see all the parts Exactly where they need to be But all I hear is silence If I close, close my eyes I can hear broken hearts Beating back the disbelief Where there once was a family Do we just walk away? We will not be the same Did we have any say? We will carry the flame We can’t reassemble We can’t reassemble We can’t reassemble Until we reinvent If I close, close my eyes I can see all the parts Exactly where they need to be But all I hear is silence If I close, close my eyes I can hear broken hearts Beating back the disbelief Where there once was a family
3.	Turn The Dial 03:54	lyrics	buy track
Turn the dial You’re not really watching This could Take a while To find the view you want to see Take a bow Never thought you'd finish what you Disavow It’s time to own the things you breed No retracting What you say No retracing No replacing What you say Take the time to save what you’d conflate You made your choice Until it made you Change the path - the path that you would take Take a bow Never thought you'd finish what you Disavow Time to own the things you breed No retracting What you say No retracing No replacing What you say Cannot have it all Take the time to save what you’d conflate Change - What’s the path you’ll take You made your choice Until it made you Change the path - the path that you would take
4.	Silent Standoff 04:59	lyrics	buy track
Turned to walk away Nothing left to walk away from Ignored the ghosts that stay They fade Touch intangible Fingers pass right through the memories But all you feel is cold End the games Wasting all this time Won’t change a thing Crossed the lines Locked it up and left it all behind Thought I saw your face Self restraint was oscillating I looked the other way instead I might be your friend But I don’t ever want to need you It took too long for this to mend End the games Wasting all this time Won’t change a thing Crossed the lines Locked it up and left it all behind End the games You’re the same End the games Spare me (this time) Spare me (we’ll ride off)
5.	Running In Circles 04:28	lyrics	buy track
And I can feel the momentum Of the world passing by Passing by All the lines speeding right past my eyes I’m trapped in brick and mortar They all hold me inside While I’m stuck to these casters There is no place to hide But I try But I try And now the wind’s full of voices Whispering sickness and tears And I can’t tell the difference Between minutes and years With a thousand deferred hopes Until we all hear What the world has been left with Besides COVID and fear But we’re still here We’re still here You can rearrange the furniture As many times as you want But it’s always gonna be the same room Where this loop is never gonna stop But if running in circles will help you stay sane Makes you feel like you might have a chance to escape But if running in circles will help you stay sane At least it feels like you’re moving and winning the game Until the clouds break above us And we get the all clear Will the engines turn over And still kick into gear Will old friends feel like strangers Are we safe to gather here? Will we know what feels normal? Will we ever get past this fucking year?
6.	Points and Picas 04:18	lyrics	buy track
Bestine won't clean these memories Faded Like pencil drawings erased That still show through the latest sketches So take out a fresh blade to scrape the surface I wouldn't mess around Cutting out these lasting doubts that keep you honest I won't take any, I won't leave any I won't be any, I won't break any I won't sing any, I won't pray any I won't build any, I won't break any I won't hear any, I won't tell any I won't love any, I won't hate anymore... You’ll see the rules might feel extreme They re-en- Force this swaying tinker-toy beneath our feet That holds us higher All these points and picas bleed just like me The smallest failure can lead to our demise I told you - you'll see I won't take any, I won't leave any I won't be any, I won't break any I won't sing any, I won't pray any I won't hit any, I won't kick any I won't hear any, I won't tell any I won't love any, I won't hate anymore... See what you want I won’t see what you want I’ll say All the things you break Under your, under See what you want I won’t see what you want I’ll say All the things you break Under your Under your feet
7.	City Laid To Rest 05:25	lyrics	buy track
Tightened fists can only clutch Your ticket's mangled in your hand At times like this I wonder whether You will ever understand How far back does this one go? What buried ghosts get all the blame? All the things that aggravate Add up to a pointless headgame Another city laid to rest Another stage we won’t play again Tell yourself you did your best Then you can talk yourself out of the blame In the end you always knew You're justified by your existence All the things they said were true Unless they contradicted You Another city laid to rest Another stage we won’t play again Tell yourself you did your best Then you can talk yourself out of the blame Finally Finally you understand
8.	A Simple Luxury 03:29	lyrics	buy track
I used to see your face A simple luxury A mirror took its place And I’m sick of what I see We never saw the end Now there’s nothing left to see Nothing to defend No ground beneath our feet I thought I knew What the coming days would bring The truth obscured By the things I refused to see Unsaid goodbyes In a time of quarantine I used to see your face A simple luxury
9.	Time To Breathe 06:14	lyrics	buy track
Something’s pulling me away From the place that I have stayed Something strong something strange Like a name without a face Is it here or is it there There the place I need to be Which one driving me away From the place that sheltered me I would go the distance If you’d give me the space to leave This rite of passage is so painful Guess it has to be My old habits haunting me Like a web that I can’t see It’s just another harmless enemy Harmless as I make it Now I’m on the edge of growth Anticipate the pain It’s not the what but the How Will I ever find A way… Isn’t it the time to leave The road I’ve yet to travel It’s time to change Time to breathe Or this burn won’t go away Away…
10.	Sink Until You Swim 04:55	lyrics	buy track
Draw up empty thoughts Words mean less than pencil lines But this is all you've got Watch it all wash away like chalk All your ideas smeared on your sleeve There's nothing left to read There's nothing left to bleed Sink until you swim Back up to the surface Breathe In Think of stepping in Back into - Back into the current Reach in Take these thoughts for granted They won’t be the last To let you down again SINK UNTIL YOU SWIM With enough perspective You will understand Why you fall again Sink Until You Swim
11.	Townley 02:16		buy track
12.	Sanitizer 04:16	lyrics	buy track
Define your position It defines you Control their perceptions A misdirection Stall each word in transit Silence every sound Do they mean what you meant to say? Do they mean anything? Verbal cleansing blackout Your own Berlin Not offend Nor enlighten And never written Let it all down Bring it down like the wall Let it all down Knock it down like the wall Let it all down Bring it down like the wall Sanitizer Leaves you cleaned and raw
13.	Sabbatical 04:00	lyrics	buy track
Some things never stay the same And usually I welcome change But this is one thing that I’d like to stay But it won’t stay No it won’t stay Give me one thing that I need I don’t ever want to leave you What’s the price of this my gift Sabbatical with me is almost finished But that’s the cost of getting what you wish And it won’t stay No it won’t stay Give me one thing that I need I don’t ever want to leave you And I would go anywhere you want me And I would go (anywhere) And I would go anywhere you want me And I would go And I would go anywhere you want me And I would go (anywhere) And I would go anywhere you want me And I would go Yeah I would go

about

Michael Knapp has been a singer/guitarist and songwriter in a number of post punk bands since the early 90's including the power trio Dig Miner Dig (FL), the frenetic quartet Sunday Driver (Pgh), and the NYC power trio Yearbook. As his family grew and his job art directing feature animated films required more of his time and creative energy, there was less opportunity to make music. At the end of 2020, COVID-19, "work from home" and a giant corporate mouse changed all of that.

Sink Until You Swim is Michael Knapp's first solo record and was recorded in his NYC apartment during the pandemic. What began as a project to record several orphaned songs of his from over the years quickly turned into a much larger undertaking. The recording process fueled the desire to write new material which surprisingly gave new context and relevance to the older songs. The album had become a melodic guitar-laden reflection on a challenging year.

+ + + +

Fifteen years on. Fifteen years off.
13 songs spanning 30 years recorded over 10 months
in 1 small NYC apartment room where I worked through a pandemic.
Milo did not approve.

+ + + +

Biggest love and thanks to my one and only Ellie and our girls Chloe and Julia for putting up with me making so much noise downstairs and replaying the same tracks over and over again for the last year. New York City apartments weren’t really made for this.

Huge thanks to my longtime bud Greg Hoy for helping me get this out there and for lending his ear and expertise to the mastering process.

Recording this alone at home constantly reminded me of all the amazing and inspiring bandmates I’ve had over the years. Greg, Sharma, Casey, Matt, Roy, Kevin, Dave, Grant, Bob, Sean F and Sean L, Shawn, Todd, and Phil - I miss you all.

Thanks to my friends Jon, Ryan, Tom, Thom and Limbert who lent me their ears as I was pulling this together.

And a huge thank you to Jon Townley who kept hounding me for years to pick up the guitar again and record something - especially while we worked from home and had a little more time on our hands. This wouldn’t have happened without you, bud. You’re the best.

Apologies to Milo. I let him have his say on A Simple Luxury to make up for the inconvenience.

- Mike

credits

released December 3, 2021

All songs written, performed,
recorded and mixed by Michael Knapp

Artwork and design by Michael Knapp

Mastered by Greg Hoy

© Copyright 2021 Michael Knapp
All rights reserved

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about

Michael Knapp New York, New York

Michael Knapp is a musician and artist based in New York City who for 15 years wrote, played and recorded in indie rock and post punk bands such as Dig Miner Dig (FL), Sunday Driver (PGH), and Yearbook (NYC). After a 15 year hiatus, in 2021 he recorded his first solo record Sink Until You Swim. ... more

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